The moment we begin to fear the opinion of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls. Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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Like you, I wish to create a life and a business that is a reflection of my true essence.
Having a blog is a way to help me process my shifts, growth and expansion,
plus it is a place to share valuable insights and information which could support others.
And yet, there are times that I want to hide what is happening in my inner world.
But I won’t.
Because my life is about Expression and staying in alignment with my Spirit.
As a Raw woman, who never uses alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, drugs or even food to suppress and numb my feelings, I am very raw and real in my emotions.
I must release whatever would hold me back from expressing myself and going to my destiny.
Alright. I have been going through ch ch ch changes.
You know the feeling of terrible unrest, like the calm before the storm
of being in the mist and fog- it looks beautiful and dreamlike and feels slightly surreal and mysterious. And possibly dangerous.
I’ve been feeling frustrated
and fascinated
and excited
and impatient.
Broken wide open.
I know something is getting ready to be birthed from inside me because I feel it, I hear it
and its big. And juicy.
I just need to be ready to deepen my relationship with Spirit and Trust.
I am so ready.
It all began in after completing a project I had worked 9 months on in a partnership that no longer served;
there was goodwill and joint ventures between us but incompatible values and views.
I knew what had to be done, but had been procrastinating because of all that was working.
Finally, when the bridge of integrity broke and a torrent of miscommunication lay between us, I wielded my Artemis sword and in a moment swiftly cut ties.
It was painful and yet such a relief. I felt free and powerful and in my body and spirit once again. And sad…for a long time.
Then the question came, What now?
I knew it was time to create my own ‘home’ where my vision and creativity could live and grow. I gave thanks for lessons learned and sent love.
With the support of friends and family and a talented designer who believes in me, I decided to return online.
On 20, 10. 2010 Earth Empress was born.
Earth Empress was not a name I chose- it literally chose me
to learn and teach about Earth Empress energy- regal, sensual, beautiful, natural, radiant, feminine, iconic.
But I felt blocked and stuck in my own story of the Slavegirl.
The Slavegirl, The Princess and The Queen is a book I started to write over a decade ago…and I realise the Slavegirl has been the dominant archetype of the trilogy in my life to this point.
She is the one who allowed herself to be taken advantage of. She is the one who gives too much. She is the one who wants to serve and puts herself last.
And she is totally messing with my Earth Empress mission! Or so I thought…
I spoke to my Fairy Godmother Fatma who asked me if I could recall a time in my life when I can remember first feeling like a Slavegirl. I clearly did…
I was standing at a Gucci counter in the mall 25 years ago completely mesmerized by the beauty, culture, style, quality, luxury and status of the Gucci brand and its bags…
I must have been there well over an hour lost in my daydreams of what it must feel like to be the kind of woman who carried such an exquisite, iconic bag…like Grace Kelly or Jackie O.
I was 17 and I dreamt of being such a woman.
But in that moment, I did not identify with all that beauty and luxury.
I identified with the Slavegirl who had been orphaned and homeless as a teen, and was working hard 7 days a week just to survive. I wondered if I would ever know such luxury, such grace.
Fatma asked if I was ready to make another agreement in my life…I was. I did!
Another mentor Tara Marino heard me expressing that I would like to ‘release’ the Slavegirl from my life. She asked me if I would be willing to ’embrace her’ instead…?
That was a revelation.
It resonated so clearly as I instantly realised it is impossible to draw in new energy and feel whole and empowered if I reject parts of myself. Indeed, I needed to integrate them all. Our challenges and pain hold the seeds of exquisite gifts, like pearls that start out from something irritating and unbeautiful.
As a raw foodist and passionate animal lover, I have judged by myself for not being able to maintain my vegan lifestyle 100%.
I have also felt split about the fact that my earth Goddess soul loves luxury and Gucci!
I am complicated. Am I ironic for being a Nature lover who gathers her own Spring water to drink and bathe in
but who also loves exquisite material things? And why is luxury and style as alluring for me as simplicity and Nature?
If I am spiritual and humanitarian, can I still create a business that is financially able to sustain what it is I came here to share? As well, what kind of Raw Foodist loves barefooting AND high heels?
Well, apparently this one!
Speak Truthfully is how we bring what is inside, outside. This is how
we mark the world with our presence..Speaking Truthfully is not about being right. It is about being real. Robert Rabbin
And the more Raw I am, the more I am urged to discover and allow the unearthing of more and more seemingly contradictory parts of myself.
I even experienced a song coming through me called Bring It To The Light which speaks to this.
I know now that this is why I have recently been so struck by this book that has been so compelling that I had to share about in a prior post– being authentic and wholely integrated is so magical and paramount to me.
Authenticity and Integrity are North Stars that have lit my path.
And if we deny ourselves the expression of any aspects of ourselves, those parts not only cannot heal or reveal their gifts to us, but can be driven deeper into our sub-conscious and seek expression in negative and unhealthy ways.
Reading this book and living the 5 Principles- Pay Attention, Be Present, Listen Deeply, Speak Truthfully and Act Creatively- has awakened a call from my Spirit to acknowledge, accept and allow ALL parts of my being to dance their sacred dance.
No matter what it looks like. I do not yet understand how sharing these challenges could help anyone, and I feel vulnerable…
However, I believe we are beautiful when we are being authentic and have faith in my process. So I continue to explore and share…
I experience the Princess in me enjoying and celebrating aspects that the Slavegirl desires. And the Queen in me has the wisdom to see what the Slavegirl and the Princess cannot, as well as being able to accept them completely as they are.
So, I am embracing the Slavegirl, the Gucci girl, The Nature girl, The Empress- multi-dimensional ME.
And in doing so, I am actually more able to embrace the beauty and strength of my own voice, and embody Empress energy.
Something else is happening too-
with all that blocked energy it has been difficult to write or even envision what I want to bring forth-
my next online summit, my Renewal Detox, my 2 recipe books, my consulting practice…or something else?
The passionate butterfly dreamer who usually overflows with creative energy and a well-spring of ideas and mad desire to manifest them, suddenly felt completely flat-
like I have nothing of value to share or create anymore 🙁
I have even been wondering if creating Earth Empress was a mistake- something I need to step down from and let go of…
On Dec 21 I fasted on green juice and did a Winter Solstice ritual with my husband, and I asked for clarity and guidance.
I also spoke to siStars who could hold space with me.
And I gave thanks knowing a shift is underway…miracles are rushing towards me.
What will unfold out of this, I do not yet know.
But I am EXCITED to discover…and bring forth in 2011!
So Petal, I have an assignment for you.
Answer these questions in your journal, or in the comments section below.
1. What parts of yourself are you hiding, afraid to acknowledge and integrate?
2. Where in your life do you relate to the Slavegirl?
3. What would you love to bring forth in the New Year?
And remember, you are most beautiful when you are being authentically YOU!
My Prince Charming taking me out for our 13th Anniversary
Tagged: exquisite self care, natural health and beauty, raw foods, raw renewal, rejuvenation, sensual beauty
Shakaya…. I love that title, The Slavegirl, the Princess and the Queen! And let the judgements from yourselves and other blow away on the gentle supernal breeze… She (or he) who is truly happy and contented with her own lifestyle and choices will never feel the need to impose their harsh comments and criticisms on any other soul. I would love to bring forth in the new year the real me… free from excessive pounds and little addictions that keep me trapped! We all need to show each other the love and support we all need…. there is no time for anything else! I fell very supported by your Earth Empress venture… I can feel the love and reason why I am attracted to your work is because I feel I can be me, without the pressure or the judgement – otherwise, I wouldn’t be! Much love xxxx
Shakaya, You are such a radiant, light-worker. I adore and appreciate you and the way in which you share your light with us by way of Earth Empress. I feel lifted and loved every time an Earth Empress Infusion arrives in my inbox. I smile from deep within every time I read your beautiful posts on FB. And I cannot even put into words how your blog posts move me. I know what you mean about feeling broken open. I feel that way now, too. And I also think it is a good thing. This is the time creative, loving, compassionate, thoughtful light-workers are needed to help heal each other and the world. So whether you show up barefoot or in heels, I am just grateful you show up. All love…Treesa
@Victoria Leith:
Ahhhh, it is like a window has been opened and fresh air scented with Jasmine is flowing through the dusty room of my soul that has been shut out of my own awareness for too long…Thank you Victoria for your supportive and wise woman voice of acceptance and allowing. I love that you feel attracted to this space and I am very proud to have you here sharing and shining your beauty and light. I hold the space for you and look forward to the shifts you will experience in 2011 ♥
Shakaya….when you say : “The passionate butterfly dreamer who usually overflows with creative energy and a well-spring of ideas and mad desire to manifest them, suddenly felt completely flat-like I have nothing of value to share or create anymore. I have even been wondering if creating Earth Empress was a mistake- something I need to step down from and let go of…”
I have to tell you this is the most precious sentiment. A raw admittance of the down cycle of fizzles, the turn on the spiral that thinks its going down. These are the parts too precious to me. There is no need for an ”always on” inspiration, these come and go with the winds. It is just as good to hear the silence as it is the words. Just to hear your thoughts and see beautiful pictures, gives me a sense of Beauty, in your own colors. An expression of authenticity is what is needed whether dancing full of bubbles or flat out on the floor, Beauty is always Beauty, in its rise and in its fall. Earth Empress is my preferred reading, because it’s value is always beautiful, always raw. Fairy Blessings.
@Treesa:
This is so gorgeous, Treesa…I smile deep now knowing my Infusions and posts on FB and blogs are really reaching and touching and guiding and supporting beautiful, spirited, heart-opened, light-filled goddesses like you. And its just SO FUN to be fully embodied and celebrated for showing up whether barefooted or in heels, because that IS the way I flow, so thank you. I adore you ♥
@Lady of the Woods:
Lovely Lady of the Woods…you have crystalised what I deeply beleive and wish to live…that what we consider our flaws and secrets are somehow a gateway to our strength and beauty…
I feel held high and lifted as I imagine others will too in hearing your stunningly beautiful words:
‘An expression of authenticity is what is needed whether dancing full of bubbles or flat out on the floor, Beauty is always Beauty, in its rise and in its fall.’
This is my new favorite quote. I’m honoured to have inspired it.
Empress Blissings.
This just appeared in my inbox…this is why I share even when it is hard for me:
‘Dear Earth Empress,
I’ve just read your last blog post – it was so what I needed. I’m standing in the crossroad right now, between who I am, and who I want to be, and I’m not really sure who I am.. Between what I wanna do, what I should do, what’s important for me.. SOmetiems it so difficult.. – so thank you so much, I’m not feeling alone – amd it’s promising.. if you found your path – I know I will too…Thank you.’
Definitely NOT a mistake, gorgeous! I loooove your website and your book. Also, you sound JUST LIKE ME. I call myself a Glamour Hippie because I really have those two sides…the hippie, barefoot wanderer, and the retro-style pin-up queen who wants fancy stuff, high heels and huge hair.
Don’t fret, there are definitely others just like you 🙂 Maybe some are just afraid to admit it. It’s funny how the raw food community can be so judgmental. I learned at the beginning of going raw/vegan that being militant will get you nowhere, so I just let people be, do what I want, and if I inspire them to lead a better, healthier, more compassionate life…good. If not…that’s fine, too.
@Lorra:
…and huge hair- love that Lorra! How fun and freeing it is to hear about and experience the different sides of women. Men are wonderful, but women are fascinating! lol Love the idea of your passion school…May you always stay juicy and committed to your fullest expression of yourself and your dreams xo
Sweet and Powerful Shakaya!
Bravo, I just love this sharing you gifted us with. I love the feeling tone of it. I love the authenticity, the vulnerability, and the courage!
So delicious. By being wonderfully TRUE to yourself (and to your reader) you become wonderfully magnetic.
Ah, the joy, it is so warming to read your heart and your Truth!!
Love and Blessings!!
Terra
@Terra Wise, Midwife for the Soul:
Thank you wise and beautiful Terra for listening with an ocean of acceptance and love the way you always do…It was such a great night with much laughter, AHAAA’s and tears. You are a gift.
Power — it’s frightening and it’s necessary. Because I have at times gotten beyond my fears and experienced what powerful changes I can bring forth in my own and others lives, the sheer magnitude of what is possible can overwhelm me, and I become afraid to wield such power, and shrink back. I want to embrace and be comfortable with a new, larger quantity of power this next year. I want to take that responsibility.
@Stephanie:
I have always felt that true power, authentic power- power that cannot be taken away when the wealth disappears or the status goes etc actually is created from an internal process of coming to know ourselves and then express ourselves authentically in our world. I believe this is why I have never felt intimidated or afraid to speak to influential people in my interviews etc because I could easily connect with them as long as I was staying connected to myself. Perhaps this definition of power as empowerment as opposed to ‘power over another’ might make you feel more comfortable with expressing your authentic power, Stephanie.
Blissings
Mmm..yes, we don’t really have power over another, they make their own choices; I want to remember that. But being in a position of influence where others change the course of their lives based on your words…I still find it scary. 🙂 It is fear of being wrong or having blame placed at my feet — any kind of negative outcome — that I fear, I’m sure. Growing pains. If my path is to be influential, I don’t want to shirk it out of fear of personal discomfort. And my discomfort is created solely by me. You’ve made me stretch my thinking a bit farther on this subject, thank you.
Shakaya – thank you for sharing it ALL. I get so weary reading all the relentlessly upbeat messages from those who will never admit to a down moment. Yet it’s when we open to our shadow side and acknowledge it (not push it away) that we propel ourselves further toward the light. It is such a gift you give with your honesty. Blessings!
@Stephanie:
Great insight Stephanie…Big people of influence feel discomfort and stretch to their fullness anyway!
@Andrea Conway:
I love that distinction you made Andrea…its funny how inspiration can come in all colors of the rainbow, even the darker shades…we aren’t one dimensional beings, especially women- and we get to express all the different colors and textures and flavors of our life. Having a community of rich women around like you Andrea, makes life and all its phases and stages not only bearable but truly beautiful. New Year Blissings
Shakaya,
What a breath of fresh air you are. You have absolutely no idea. I love the blog, love the comments already posted, and I am 100% with ya! How could there be someone besides me who loved walking barefoot through my yard eating of its offerings while at the same time appreciating with all my soul the satisfaction of a dog-gone good quality purse. I thought that recently I was simply having a bit of an identity crisis and yet YOU showed me that it was something sacred actually birthing what must come forth. Thank you for being vulnerable and honest and showing us all the value of the same. Thank you.
@Kelli:
Thank you Kelli for shining your light on me during a time of growth which definately feels like an ‘identity crisis’…exploring shadowork.
This is the work of the feminine…stretching out of our comfort zone, birthing and opening to all aspects of ourselves, to how big we want to be, being authentic and going for what we want.
And it isn’t aways logical or safe- the energy of the feminine. Just as there are gorgeous calm meadows and sweet smelling flowers so are there thorns and volcanoes. Mother Nature is not one dimensional. And neither are we! Women are the most inticrate, unpredictable, fascinating, delicate, volatile, powerful creatures, multi-fasceted like diamonds. And definately, never boring.
As I stand on a new shore exploring how to embrace and cherish my inner Slavegirl, Princess and Queen, I hold a space for myself and you and all women who refuse to play small, who want to break out of their shell and break open to an exciting fresh and new beginning, opening as the glorious, unstoppable, radiant, feminine light-beings we are meant to be.
So beautiful, honest and charming. Just like you, Shakaya. I love this space and look forward to updates.
We should live life by the truth, so we’ll be set free. Your post really opened up many realizations in life.
Hey Vanessa, not sure about ‘should’, definately love that we ‘could’! Keep opening like a flower…
So beautiful, honest and charming. Just like you. I love this space and look forward to updates.
Thank you for sharing it ALL. I get so weary reading all the relentlessly upbeat messages from those who will never admit to a down moment.
I hear you! In our society, especially with The Secret and the Law of Attraction we can tend to cling to one side, fearing ever having or focusing on a negative moment, which isn’t wholistic and can leave us feeling unbalnced and not whole. I recall Tony Robbins teaching the ‘power of negative thinking’ and to really get into it and discover the pearls of what isn’t working so we could find our solutions. I am a fan of allowing myself to feel it ALL and notice deep insights can spring from cold, dark places. Thank you for your comment!
@papeyh5: Thank you, I’m glad you are here!
I love your website and your book. Also, you sound just like me. I call myself a Glam-our Hippie because I really have those two sides…the hippie, barefoot wanderer, and the retro-style pin-up queen who wants fancy stuff, high heels and huge hair. 🙂
Thank you for your compliments on my book and site Amgda! Yes, Goddesses get to use all the crayons in the box…it’s so fun and enlivening to express a kaleidescope of sides
Full wonderful thoughts and beautiful pictures. We may deffer from any point but still it looks amazingly beautiful.
Just as there are gorgeous calm meadows and sweet smelling flowers so are there thorns and volcanoes. Mother Nature is not one dimensional. | 😛
So true…and neither are WE 🙂
Thank you for being vulnerable and honest and showing us all the value of the same. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing it all. I get so exhausted reading all the persistently upbeat messages from those who will never confess to a losing moment. Yet it’s when we open to our silhouette side and recognize it (not push it away) that we drive ourselves more toward the light.
Nice! superb! unique! differently done post! you just crave what’s next so you scroll and scroll You are witty ma’am you really knew how to capture your readers.
I love your website and your book. Also, you sound just like me. I call myself a Glam-our Hippie because I really have those two sides.. | 😛
I believe this is why I have never felt intimidated or afraid to speak to influential people in my interviews etc because I could easily connect with them as long as I was staying connected to myself.
I enjoy your site – I would like to talk with you about buying ad space here granted you do that. Hit me up at the email I provided and we can talk about, thanks
Thank you for sharing it all. I get so exhausted reading all the persistently upbeat messages from those who will never confess to a losing moment. Yet it’s when we open to our silhouette side and recognize it (not push it away) that we drive ourselves more toward the light.
Great image! The passionate butterfly dreamer who usually overflows with creative energy and a well-spring of ideas and mad desire to manifest them, suddenly felt completely flat-like I have nothing of value to share or create anymore.
Awesome photos! absolutely stunning!
i am so glad that i found this post it is very informative post….
Great post! I really enjoy reading your blog, Thanks for sharing..
i am so glad that my friend shared with me thanks for sharing this to us..
Great image! The passionate butterfly dreamer who usually overflows with creative energy and a well-spring of ideas and mad desire to manifest them, suddenly felt completely flat-like I have nothing of value to share or create anymore.
It’s funny how inspiration can come in all colors of the rainbow, even the darker shades…we aren’t one dimensional beings, especially women- and we get to express all the different colors and textures and flavors of our life.
I googled ’embody empress energy’ and I found you again. I am so grateful the flow led me to you in Power of Sensuality. Your reflections are a mirror of what I experienced in the last few months. I severed a relationship but felt immediate relief and liberation to create my ‘home’ for my genius. I am still sad at times but through this process, I learned to embrace my truth unapologetically and learn compassion for others. Artemis is my ‘indie’ energy! I am embracing my slave girl this moment now. I am also claiming so many parts of myself that I left in the shade. I love fashion, nature, art, business and I channel my deepest self, a mystic-poet. I felt so unfulfilled when I tried to live true only to a part of myself. It’s been an intense transformative journey, painful when I tried to squeeze myself into someone else’s idealistic box. I am committing now to bring forth all my secret selves, no more sacrifices. No wonder my ‘frenchie’ felt drained when I went on a minimalist purge to less than 100 things in my closet. My inner-dandy screamed! It’s so empowering to imbibe in your wisdom. I feel so supported by the Universe in my dreams in this connection. I am so thankful for you. I feel so possible and capable in this space! Many blessings to you, dear Goddess. You are a beacon of sensual light!