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a rainy walk to thank you

Your support since my last vlog ‘a thousand tears’ means the world to me!

This community is wise and loving and I feel so blessed.

I made a video out in the rain for you HERE:

and it’s fun~ Luke was the highlight and stole the show LOL! 

 

I’m a bit of a MESS these days and my crown feels wobbly

but I don’t HIDE IT for the lotus blooms in the mud …

and we’re not here to be perfect because we already ARE Divine-

we’re here to experience being human and there’s no shame in our struggles

and the more we embrace the MESSY UGLY UNCERTAINTY RUPTURE

the faster we move through them to transform and rise in rapture.

 

And having YOU here with me during this huge transition is grace…

 

i love you,

 

 

ps Comments I received resonate so deeply:

“I can feel your grief, grief for the family life YOU created.

You missed out on a lot of Family times when your beautiful Mom passed

at such a young age, you went on, digging in your heels for survival.

You did the work to manifested a fairytale lifestyle

while doing the very difficult work that was required of you…

teaching your beautiful boys the importance of health and integrity

all while sharing with those around you all your knowledge so generously.

Now things are showing up in your life very differently,

the new silence in the house that reminds you of the aloneness

you felt after your Mom passed…

Many things can trigger our core issues even when we truly believed we have done

all our releasing and detox work…it turns out we are never done.

 
“I find your testimony very beautiful…as real as life is…
I appreciate that you have the courage to let yourself be seen vulnerable,
it makes me feel good about my own vulnerable moments…
Thank you,
Loving hug xo”

“I have been following you and admiring you from afar for probably close to 10 years. I have always felt a deep resonance and with you and all you represent. When I am challenged, I secretly attempt to channel you and your feminine wisdom and inspiration. But I have never reached out to you before now. Your message and video today has touched me so, that I had to reach out and let you know that you are very loved, and even in your vulnerability, you continue to inspire and comfort. 

I am also in a period of my life where I am shedding a thousand tears.

I feel that I have lost my community, my tribe, my only “child”, my purpose, my inspiration, my success, my identity. Life is very different in my new chapter, and there is unlimited potential — but even though I have so much love from my husband and abundance around me, somehow I still feel lost and empty.

I know that speaking what is true — especially those very very vulnerable feeling and thoughts —is the first step to healing.  So, I honor you for expressing your sadness and exposing your vulnerability. We WILL re-invent ourselves at this time in our lives. 

I am on this journey with you and I am sending you love and comfort. And so much gratitude for being there for me all these years;). I often think of you as a softer, more refined and elegantly beautiful soul sister — and you have brought me so much inspiration over the years. Keep on keeping on, dear soul sister. The world needs your gift.” 

 

I suspect you’re feeling extra-special feelings of loss right now

because your Mum never got to send you, Paul and Melanie off,

and you are feeling you’re drowning in the depth

of the loss of your boys leaving your nest.”

 
 

AND THIS ONE FROM A DEVOTED DAD:

 

“I talk every single day and I spend time with my 24 yr old son and yes it’s still difficult.

I miss him constantly.

And yes I worry too, about all the big and small things.

I stay connected (regardless) of what drama etc is happening in my own life.

I have never ever let a day go by that I don’t at least message him, or text,

or call and of course send musings of one kind or another.

 And yes I still miss him as you miss your boys.

Get choked up and become weepy.

It is (our) “job” (not really an effort of course) to stay connected and (to never ever)

wait for our kids to reach out to us.

It is our job to do that, no exceptions to this rule of quality empowering parenting.”

 

That one helped me realise how deeply my partner Luke is feeling…

 

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING

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video~ a thousand tears

 

This is hard for me to talk about because I’m so emotional right now

and there’s little space to feel such painful emotions during times of massive transition

and initiations in our society…

and many just laugh and tell me to ‘celebrate!’

But I’m not sure how I will navigate this new chapter

and I feel like the best part of my life is gone…

My boys moved out to University and it hurts to not hear them laughing or feel their hugs right now…

It’s not about hiding and putting on a pretty face…

honouring our pain creates WHOLENESS

which creates a ripple effect of kindness and gentleness towards ourself and all

Here’s a VIDEO… I’m pretty RAW…

i have been sobbing uncontrollably for months

unprepared for the grief of an empty home

i don’t understand my new reality

tears and tears

that’s my thing now

letting it flow out

but i’ll get through this because i won’t hide or repress it

…reminding myself to trust as i go through this massive transition and painful initiation

Imagine the caterpillar’s struggle would be for nothing if she didn’t endure,

she’d never know the expansion and beauty of her butterfly self that was to come…


I’m grateful my boys are happy and excited about their new lives and adventures to come

I’m grateful for my husband and friends and family and clients who love me…

I’m grateful I can let it out and bring this here and not feel crazy…

I’m grateful for trusting that even though a thousand tears must fall that in time

they will turn to petals at my feet…

I’m grateful for the upcoming reinventions, whatever they will be…

and I’m grateful for YOU ♥

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when your life falls apart/isn’t working

Life experience can be so difficult at times…

Whether we are going through a Personal or Global crisis it’s vital to have a solid ‘lifeline’.

To not be swept up in internal storms and hurricanes of fear and loss and shame and blame.

How do YOU find the ‘calm in the storm’ and navigate the wild winds of change that blow into your life??

How to steer the often scary and painful path of your Heroine’s Journey?

Here are my best tips on how to not only survive but THRIVE:

  1. ADMIT YOU ARE IN CRISIS. Don’t hide. This 1st step is often the most difficult for ‘strong women’ who don’t want to appear weak or out of control, but the truth is that life is UNCERTAIN and we all feel insecure and scared at times. We are taught to be stoic and stuff our rage and our passion! We are taught to repress and ‘look good’ and this truly makes us immobilized. But when we share our deepest truest thoughts and feelings no matter how messy, we put ourselves in the hands of the Divine. It takes courage to be vulnerable, but that raw authenticity is so magnetic… people’s hearts open and they want to help! Share what you are going through honestly with people you trust. Transparency is transformative.
  2. ALLOW IN SUPPORT. Again, not always easy or comfortable for women who have always been there for everyone else and don’t want to be a burden. But when we create a wall around ourself of invincibility, that prevents life and love in when we need it the most. Everyone needs to feel supported especially during crisis and I believe we are not meant to ‘go it alone’ but to help one another. We further victimize ourselves when we feel shame and don’t allow the events in our life to crack us open so the Light can flood in. 
  3. CREATE AN AFFIRMATION. This may sound trite or superficial but there have been times in my darkest hours and those of my client’s when it was all we had to hold onto! For example, highly sensitive, spiritual, heart-centered, creative women often struggle with feelings of persecution and not being safe. A favourite affirmation is ‘I AM SAFE. I AM DIVINELY PROTECTED.’ Or ‘I AM WORTHY. IT IS SAFE TO BE ME. I AM LOVED.’ Or ‘I WILL GET THROUGH THIS. I ASK FOR AND RECEIVE HELP. I AM GUIDED.’ It can be very simple and primal- just go with what feels good and right for you!
  4. HAVE SACRED SPACE FOR REFLECTION. Whenever you can it is so vital to spend time in the sanctuary of your own heart and Spirit to hear what is essential for you to hear. To be able to receive your truth and a Higher guidance that isn’t cluttered with the chaos of confusion and emotion. I personally keep a journal and spend time in silence, alone to hone my intuition and to stay centered. It always amazes me how much GRACE unfolds when we’re able to be available for it. We all have the answers but they are hidden within us.
  5. RECEIVE YOUR RECLAMATION. Often when we are quiet and can see things from a higher ground, our perspective can shift dramatically from feelings of VICTIMIZATION to EMPOWERMENT. This is when we can begin the deeper healing process of steering our way through the landmines of SHAME and/or BLAME  into RECLAIM. This step is a total transformation because we begin to feel gratitude amidst the rubble. It’s like kintsugi – the Japanese art of “repairing with gold”. To treating rupture and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. Sometimes bowls would be broken purposely in order to enhance their value through the repair process. We are not broken. We are MORE of who we are meant to be.
  6. CREATE YOUR REINVENTION. This is an exciting step! We have suffered loss and we have been open with our pain and grief, receiving support, going through a deep transformation of healing and redemption. Now it’s time to step into a new part of ourselves that has been birthing through this Heroine’s Journey. That part of us that can now blossom not in spite of what we have been through but because of it! I have known clients and friends who have cut all their hair off, changed careers, sold everything and got a new wardrobe,  lost weight, cleansed and healed chronic health issues, divorced or remarried, changed locations and travelled or finally came HOME to themselves… and found peace and fulfillment like never before. The external conditions are of the past like the wake of a boat and real transformation always comes from within.

 

These steps may seem superficial next to such devastation but have truly been a lifeline for me (even during homelessness, break-ups, financial loss, illness and long-term suicidal depression) and many of my clients who feel the URGENCY of their life… of becoming FREE and FINALLY living a life that is all YOURS. No matter what.

I am being guided to open space in my calendar to connect with any women who feel lost, alone, scared and are in the ‘eye of the storm’ in their life and truly desire that rock solid foundation of living your truth and reclaiming your power.

Reach out to customerservice@earthempress.com to schedule some time with me to connect and see if mentorship is right for you.

Remember, you deserve to be supported and if you don’t have the sisterhood and family and structures for safety and success in place already, I am here, and if not me, reach out where you feel guided and please get the support you require!

And in the comments below share your practices of cultivating peace in the storm and where in your life more of your truth and freedom and power is calling.

with LOVE and glowing guidance,


For everyone affected by Irma (my husband has family in florida) and the recent floods and storms and quakes of Mother Earth, we send our healing waves of prayers, love and financial resources and hold you in the Light on this inauspicious day/anniversary of Sept 11 and always…

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if you need it, you’re not ready to receive it

This is personal… so skip it if you like, but it’s also PRINCIPLE.

And one of the most surprising and even shocking lessons of my life.

 

All my life I had a deep longing in me …

I grew up never knowing my father and then at 16 my single mother passed away suddenly…

Our mother made of us feels so loved that I didn’t really notice not having a father.

But after her passing I would lay in bed wondering and praying and obsessing over meeting him!

I hired a private investigator to find my father but all I had to go on was his Italian heritage and his name-

and it was as common as Joe Smith.

I ran out of money fast and had to stop looking for him…

 

But then when I married I again became consumed with trying to find my father.

With the internet my success in locating him seemed INEVITABLE.

Yet the more I tried the more disappointed I became when it didn’t happen…

Fast forward to my life now which in so many ways is idyllic… a solid marriage of 20 years this month 🙂

Two of the most happy and loving teenage boys I could ask for 🙂

A beautiful home on the forest and a lake 🙂

And my own online business that provides me plenty of time for my painting, designing and other passions and spiritual pursuits 🙂

My life feels so FULL and rich.

 

THEN…

 

Recently completely out of the blue my twin (did you know I have a twin?) tells me he’s found and met with our father!

It was so unexpected and a bit of a shocker; this changes EVERYTHING.

My entire storyline, my self-image… even my family and so much more that I can’t even imagine…

 

But ‘Why NOW??

Why when I needed and wanted it most, when I craved this, could this not have happened-

yet now when I don’t need it- it happens??”

Oh right- THAT IS EXACTLY WHEN IT HAPPENS 😉

The Universe is the ultimate mirror reflecting our deepest truth back to us.

And it is our canvas to paint on and create whatever we WILL.

 

Unfortunately, we often create by default and don’t realize it because the Universe doesn’t speak English, it speaks VIBRATION.

 

I have had to clear A LOT to be able to receive this miracle… and it could only happen when I was a space for it.

It’s like we are always tested to get that we are INFINITE beings regardless of circumstances.

That everything we need we have or will be provided for, that or something even BETTER for the Highest Good of all.

IF we could only accept and allow that…

 

THIS IS THE WAY OF RECEIVING AND MANIFESTING.

 

Remember that scene with Harrison Ford and he had to cross this huge chasm and it’s only when he ‘takes the leap of faith’ and sticks his foot out over the abyss that the invisible bridge appears!

As one mentor puts it, Spirit meets us at the point of our ACTION.

When you crave it you repel it, when you chase it you push it away…

But when you don’t need it because you know you already have it or will or it’s equivalent, you can have it all day long.

 

What in your life are you currently do you “NEED” that has you contracted and tight and actually not of a space for receiving it?

Love? Money? Health? Etc etc etc

Whatever you desire, or something even better is a surrender away!

 

with love and surprises,

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it’s a SWEET MIRACLE!!!

Like I always say…

MIRACLES ARE RUSHING TOWARDS YOU!

 

I’ve discovered something HUGE-

and I’m over the moon to finally share this with you!

 

It’s been my sweetest SECRET for the last few months testing it

on myself, my family, my private clients, corporate clients…

 

And everyone says the same thing-

OMG IT WORKS!

 

You must check it out for yourself.

I made a new VIDEO for you all about it:

 

with joy,

 I SERIOUSLY BELIEVE YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE THIS-

You can order yours HERE and use the code SHAKAYA to receive a special price!

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