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if you need it, you’re not ready to receive it

This is personal… so skip it if you like, but it’s also PRINCIPLE.

And one of the most surprising and even shocking lessons of my life.


All my life I had a deep longing in me …

I grew up never knowing my father and then at 16 my single mother passed away suddenly…

Our mother made of us feels so loved that I didn’t really notice not having a father.

But after her passing I would lay in bed wondering and praying and obsessing over meeting him!

I hired a private investigator to find my father but all I had to go on was his Italian heritage and his name-

and it was as common as Joe Smith.

I ran out of money fast and had to stop looking for him…


But then when I married I again became consumed with trying to find my father.

With the internet my success in locating him seemed INEVITABLE.

Yet the more I tried the more disappointed I became when it didn’t happen…

Fast forward to my life now which in so many ways is idyllic… a solid marriage of 20 years this month 🙂

Two of the most happy and loving teenage boys I could ask for 🙂

A beautiful home on the forest and a lake 🙂

And my own online business that provides me plenty of time for my painting, designing and other passions and spiritual pursuits 🙂

My life feels so FULL and rich.




Recently completely out of the blue my twin (did you know I have a twin?) tells me he’s found and met with our father!

It was so unexpected and a bit of a shocker; this changes EVERYTHING.

My entire storyline, my self-image… even my family and so much more that I can’t even imagine…


But ‘Why NOW??

Why when I needed and wanted it most, when I craved this, could this not have happened-

yet now when I don’t need it- it happens??”


The Universe is the ultimate mirror reflecting our deepest truth back to us.

And it is our canvas to paint on and create whatever we WILL.


Unfortunately, we often create by default and don’t realize it because the Universe doesn’t speak English, it speaks VIBRATION.


I have had to clear A LOT to be able to receive this miracle… and it could only happen when I was a space for it.

It’s like we are always tested to get that we are INFINITE beings regardless of circumstances.

That everything we need we have or will be provided for, that or something even BETTER for the Highest Good of all.

IF we could only accept and allow that…




Remember that scene with Harrison Ford and he had to cross this huge chasm and it’s only when he ‘takes the leap of faith’ and sticks his foot out over the abyss that the invisible bridge appears!

As one mentor puts it, Spirit meets us at the point of our ACTION.

When you crave it you repel it, when you chase it you push it away…

But when you don’t need it because you know you already have it or will or it’s equivalent, you can have it all day long.


What in your life are you currently do you “NEED” that has you contracted and tight and actually not of a space for receiving it?

Love? Money? Health? Etc etc etc

Whatever you desire, or something even better is a surrender away!


with love and surprises,


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  1. Kathy

    So well written and so true! It’s been my experience that even though I know this to be true, I still struggle with complete surrender in several areas and maintaining a consistent high vibration of contentment and peace. I am making progress and truly feel so blessed especially now as we leave the 3 D realm behind, For me it’s becoming so much easier to maintain a consistent high vibration in the fifth dimensional realm which is very encouraging time where virtually we can create much more, more quickly than ever before in ways that before this time required much more effort. I am so very happy for you…knowing that you are living such a blessed life, you truly have earned it, truly so awesome…. Enjoy!

    Posted August 23, 2017 at 2:38 am | Permalink
  2. Shakaya

    Beautiful Kathy, thank you!

    Posted August 23, 2017 at 4:24 pm | Permalink
  3. Em

    That is so amazing!!! I am very happy for you & your twin! That sure is big news….. Thank you for sharing with all of us 🙂

    Posted August 24, 2017 at 3:54 am | Permalink
  4. Shakaya

    Thank you dear Em!

    Posted August 24, 2017 at 3:56 am | Permalink

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