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angelina’s choice

I was sharing with a girlfriend about recently reaching another level of intimacy with my husband and wanting to rest there…

…not sure if I want to stir anything up for myself right now…

…and she sent me this picture…

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…it’s at once shocking and hauntingly beautiful to me…to be able to surrender to our deepest fears…

…the trust and faith in Life it requires…the gentleness, softening and boldness required to have fear and to be able to go into it and beyond it, unscathed…inspiring!

And it reminded me of my girlself…how fearless she was!

Full of childhood mischieviousness, climbing the highest trees, standing up to bulleys when other kids were being picked on, the mis-adventures living on the streets orphaned and homeless, travelling the world solo, job interviews, dating, marriage, having kids or starting my business-

I’ve been so afraid through it ALL and yet I was always led out of the Lion’s Den into more safety and freedom than ever before…

This sacred place between what we are willing to even allow ourselves to desire and what we dare to believe is possible for us is FEAR.

This fear layer is composed of misguided beliefs that we can find ourselves stuck in for a lifetime if we don’t discover it’s purpose.

Fear’s purpose is to keep us safe. To keep us small and in familliar territory so we don’t get hurt, a remnant of our reptillian brain.
‘The unknown could be tricky..better play it safe…’

But the unknown is where the expansion happens, where the magic is…

I found myself reflecting on my relationship to fear when I heard about Angelina Jolie’s deciscion to prophilactically have her healthy breasts removed in a double masectomy because she carries the BRCA1 gene that causes a type of cancer that killed her beloved mother.

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It reminded me of the interview I did with Dr Dean years ago when she told me doctors are placing tiny bits of titanium into women’s bodies at the site where Cancer ‘might’ show up in them so that if/when it does they would know exactly where to look. Just imagine the psychological impact that invasion has on a woman…having a foreign body placed inside her as a marker for where Cancer ‘might’ show up…

This fear-based mentality is something we require as empowered women to become aware of.

Back to Angie.

I am not passing judgement on her decision; I honour Angelina for doing what she felt was necessary, for she has every right to do what feels right for her, as we all do…

…though it feels profoundly misguided from the standpoint of true prevention…

For her, Angelina made a brave and proactive choice- a pre-emptive strike against what she perceives as an aggressive potential threat to her well-being and her very life. (Next she is going to apparently have her womb removed causing early menopause in her 30’s to prevent inheriting ovarian cancer like her mother.)

This feels so out of harmony with physical healing…(and yet, emotionally it obviously gave her peace of mind).

Having lost her young mother tragically and then fearing what potentially could become her fate and feeling the need to make this sacrifice must be unspeakably painful…

My beloved mother died of a heart attack at 48 when I was 16 and I have a heart condition and am now 48 and my son is turning 16…but it doesn’t mean this has to be my fate too…

I’ve written about the latest research on epi-genetics in The Radiance Retreat that tells us gene expression is NOT set in stone but rather influenced by many factors such as stress-levels, nutrition, internal environment/toxicity and also our own thoughts and beliefs. (A good read about this is Genie in your Genes by Dawson Church, PhD.)

This is amazing news!

When it comes to our heart, our breasts, our womb- our level of connection and fulfillment in our  relationships including the one we have with ourself, influences our genetic expression…we are not destined to be victims of our genetics.

Our sensuality and how we see ourselves and experience our own value as a woman is a vital part of our health formula as much as our diet and genetics. Even as a Raw Foodist I always say ‘it’s not just what you eat but what’s eating you’ that matters too.

Our breasts are sacred spheres of our feminity and they reperesent our ability to nurture and provide sustanance…(Let us not merely ‘examine’ our breasts…let us really feel them…massage them…nourish them…How are we relating to our breasts? To our femininity?)

Breasts are not honoured in a misogynistic culture that relegates women’s bodies primarily as fodder for male fantasy. Nursing mothers in public have been shunned and called ‘disgusting’ and many girls and women themselves develop a less-than loving relationship with their breasts and bodies as a result of messages in the media and other conditioning.

If we do not feel our own beauty and love, we may attract relationships that reflect that shameing energy. Our breasts represent our ability to nurture and give life… and if we don’t feel nurtured and loved in our relationships, our breasts and our womb cannot thrive, cannot embody life force energy.

Louise Hay says all dis-ease is a symptom of our thoughts and feelings, mostly about ourselves.

As emotional and intuitive beings we desire to feel loved and desired…when we don’t, a part of us begins to die…our feminine body has a very deep need to be honoured, respected, cherished, loved.

I don’t believe we can fool Mother Nature or be lulled into a false sense of security through screenings and many other non-emergency medical interventions.

Many of us if not all living in the modern world are potentially pre-disposed to certain dis-eases like Cancer, so why do some people and not all of us get ill? And what makes a faulty gene activate in some people and not others? Could it be that whatever causes Cancer to thrive in our system cannot be tricked no matter how many body parts we surgically remove- that the Cancer will just find another part to grow?

When my husband was diagnosed several years ago he determined it meant for him to ‘See Answer’.

He began a quest to understand what parts of himself were wanting to check out, and what did he require to learn and shift within himself and his life to heal those parts and strengthen the parts of himself that desired to live and thrive.

When our body whispers are we too busy to even hear?

Do we react fearfully or respond to our body? To life? To our Truth?

Back to the head in the lion’s mouth…What is YOUR relationship to fear?

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love, faith and healing to you Angie and to all who face agonizing health choices

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23 thoughts on “angelina’s choice”

  1. Chere says:

    This article is SO beautiful and important! Would you mind if I reblogged it on my own blog? Thank you for sharing such vitally important words…


  2. suzy says:

    I agree with your comment about Angelina, I personally think radical sugery in the name of prevention is a rather hasty move because she didnt have cancer and may have never had cancer.


  3. Dearest Shakaya,
    The beauty of your sharing at a deep level I bow to… it’s what we need and I treasure it. Without being free now to say much about your post here, may I suggest something. When we’ve not been in those shoes, it is perhpas less than aptly humble to say someone else’s choice is “profoundly misguided.” I, too, have been a bit haunted by Angelina Jolie’s decision- and so high profile, what pain. Her loss and hurt I can only imagine are beyond my scope of understanding. Bless her courage, on behalf of her children her sacrifice is unspeakably prodound. I honor her commitment and pray for her and her family… for all of us as women who wrestle with harrowing choices. Love to you. and Gratitude.


  4. Mariana says:

    I fully agree with you Skakaya about Angelina’s choice to cut off her most feminine body parts…just in case..may I repost your blog on FB please?


  5. annemarie says:

    Thank you Shakaya, for speaking out and up on this issue! I had the very same thoughts about her decision. I do not judge it though, every since becoming a mother and wanting SO MUCH to be around for the long haul AND realizing how intricate our thoughts/bodies are, I know it can be difficult to monitor the internal state before it gets too late….


  6. Shakaya says:

    Dear ones, thank you for sharing, I do not know if I’ve been clear…I expressed a couple meaningful topics for me, I didn’t write this to polarize Angelina’s choice or moralize it…rather it’s the consciousness of a society that could conceive of that as being the best choice for a woman in her position is what I take issue with…I empathize with Angelina’s harrowing decsicion and support HER… for me this is my own exploration of my relationship to fear…I’ve had so many fears in my life, and many of them have been about my personal safety and health. I see so many poeple suffering… (I myself lost my beloved mother to the medical system; this loss became the fertile ground my purpose of empowering women to reclaim their health now springs) and I see so many putting their faith in the archaic burn-cut-poison medical model over reconnecting with the wisdom of our bodies and our birthrite of utlizing a Body, Mind, Heart and Spirit wholistic approach that’s so loving, wise, gentle and healing…cancer etc is a symptom…how one relates to the issue is the issue, and the 3D old masculine paradigm of cutting things out and by-passing their meaning and gifts doesn’t resonate with me or the women I’m here for… I share my Truth to assist my own healing evolution…while honouring the Truth of others…in the Spirit of supporting and empowering ALL women and allowing wholistic, healing, feminine consciousness to rise.


  7. kathryn sweas says:

    Shakaya….you share my view on the whole Angelina breast affair. In many ways, I have felt that since she is a celebrity, it may have been better served if she kept it private….many females may somehow consider her choice better in some way. We are at a time in our human evolution when we are being asked to befriend nature, the Universe, our bodies, each other…in a way that bespeaks our truest natures as creative beings who are powerful, brillaint and beautiful beyond measure. The whole field of epigenetics, of which you described so well in the blog, has quickly in the last 10-15 years become baseline for innovative healers, researchers and thinkers. I encourage more of this dialogue. I send my best wishes for Angelina. I know that one of the gifts of her choice is that is brought so much to the table so quickly, for so many to consider and get stirred by….for potentially really becoming conscious about who we are and what we are capable of, really.


  8. I completely agree with your assessment and find it incomparably sad that she felt the necessity to do that. Years ago I was pushed in a very tense situation to have my uterus removed, was not able to get a second opinion within in a set time frame and followed thru to do that. When it was done, all tests said there probably was no cancer to begin with. I have never forgiven the doctor or on some level gotten over that.


  9. Savannah says:

    Do you really believe Angelina Jolie had surgery?????


  10. Lod says:

    hmmmmm is the main expression which came from me as I was starting to read. My journey into feeling my body, into integrating is taking more shape now after years of work and it was a beautiful feeling when last time I felt that connection back into harmony with my body, my soul and mind as I stood for my intuition in not letting something unhealthy happen. and without the need of justification. We have the power to come back to our empowering energy. When we think about all the technology around…and the one kept hidden it feels so prehistorical to still see a story like the one of Angelina still happening. I am not to comment on her action but I am concerned on the effect her decision might have on some women who might take her as a model figure as she stands fairly strong. And it reminds me how when I was 15 and had a kyst on my ovary a doctor suggested the removal of the ovary, to which my mother stood firmly to say No! That was 20 years ago and somehow it seems some things don’t change. But if at least some of us are aware of this it feels part of my duty to pass on the message and thank you Shakaya for leading on the good work!


  11. Callie says:

    Shakaya, what a moving blog – very thought-provoking. I was diagnosed with a very aggressive, rare type of breast cancer 2 years ago. My whole life had been spent living in fear of dying of breast cancer (my beloved grandmother, my carer, had died when I was aged 10 – a very painful death and I had no idea just HOW scarred I was from that, until my own diagnosis). I had genetic testing and despite the results coming back as no known genetic factors being present, I am still undergoing a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction (but using my own fat to rebuild). I applaud you for sharing such insight and for not berating Angeline’a decision (or mine!) but to show a depth of understanding as a woman and opening up the space for a sensible debate about fear and how we can work with those emotions to honour our bodies the way WE see fit, as unique goddesses. Bless you.


  12. Katya says:

    Hello Shakaya..
    this is quite synchronistic…. firstly my name is Katya . I guess I amconsidered an Australian pioneer of the raw food movement here in Australia… I have been raw vegan for 14 years..am an uthor of 2 books on the raw lifestyle and speak and teach…..I just did an interview with Luis from Raw Began Power and in particular weI spoke of how I made a large breast mass disappear, in response to the Angelina Jolie double masectomy controversy… Markus Rothkranz also picked up my story and included it in his newsletter as he is on a similiar page to me… I have worked with hundred of people over the years and seen amazing transformations take place on a raw food lifestyle… However,, there is no doubt that what passes through the mind has more impact on the cells and how they take in nutrients , remove wastes and divide… This has been proven scientifically … where people have been hooked up with electordes and they then think of a loving memory or thought and the response of the cells is fmeasured.. the same applies to a thought of hate… Sure enough the cells spark and function well in response to the thoughts of love and the reverse happens with thoughts of ‘hatred’…The ability of water to hold the vibrational patterns of thoughts has also been proved…People can test this out themselves..This is the next step in our evolution… taking responsibility for what we are feeling…It has been convenient for people to ‘blame’ something outside of themselves…Soemone or something ‘did’ this to me.. or a misfortune came upon me..as the answer to why someone has an ulcer in their mouth or have a psoriasis… and any numberof dis-eases… I must mention too that I have a background of 38 years in natural medicine and founded a vibrational medicine school… so I have had the opportunity to talk to many, many people and in every case there is an error in the person’s thinking, a long held assumption, judgement, or an unresolved inner conflict within the person… In my own case I had a large breast mass on my left breast, which had made itself known for around 15 months… I knew it hadan emotional causation… Emotions which we feel cannot be analysed or talked through.. they must be felt… in a nut shell I had the error in thinking around my daughter.. there had been conlict and a friction in our dynamic… and of course i tried to analyse and neutralise the emotional charge…. I did the emotional work and the lump disappeared in 4 roughly 4-5 hour sessions… there was much rage held within this lump as well…. This is much I would like to share ,, however,, to cut off a part of your body , you need to be so disconnected from yourself and we know Angelina Jolie had not spoken to her father for years, so obviously there are deep emotional wounds there … Both my grandmothers had breast and ovarian cancer and my mother had cancer too… WasI terrified,,, that this would be my path too… No because ,when I went through their lives their were what is inherited is the patterns and beliefs around men..the emotional charges…or residues… …We as women are at a time when we can change the cultural and societal beliefs and attitudes passed through generations…. …. Many women have given their lives over to men in a marriage and suppressed their dreams and desires for themselves… I havespoken to so many women and continue to do so daily in my work and every womean with cancer has a pattern that they can relate to.. a trauma ..in particular with the breasts… unexpressed femininity.. and mother/father male/female relationship ..s

    Soo,,,, do not FEAR… we havebeen equipped with the most highly intelligent, self-repairing, self healing, self- rejuvenating body… we have to re-connect with ourselves again… so many women are disconnected fr om who they really are… We have to spend time with ourselves to do that… We have to trust our intuition…. and not feel pressured to undergo procedures that we don’t want to do….If anyone wants to hear the full story of how I made this breast mass disappear they can watch the ourlong interview on Raw Vegan Power Interview with Katya… it will inspire you, awaken you and educate you….. The time has come to listen to the messages our bodies are trying to tell us every day… We need to be aware of contractions in our body and what we just felt or said to ourselves prior to feeling that… Our bodies are our allies…. they always are wanting to get our attention and alert us to anything that is out of balance with who we really are….
    Katya….xx… ..


  13. Katya says:

    sorry about the typing errors….x


  14. Evgenia says:

    What an amazing Venus-painting! Thank you Shakaya!
    Thank you, Shakaya for expressing and cleansing so many empotions for me around this issue; pre-emptive strike on body and points of view around cancer… Your Venus-painting is magnificent! <3


  15. Diane says:

    The picture with the lion is so exact. This radical surgery is uncalled for. For one thing if you have the gene it is all over your body in the blood stream. If you were to get the cancer it could show up somewhere else. So sad because we have Frankincense which taken everyday would prevent cancer anyway. There are too many means these days to prevent. This is just pure fear. God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power love and sound mind.
    She will be sorry.
    Diane


  16. Claudia says:

    So much can be said about Angelina and her breasts. So many rumours out there. It could be that it was only an outing for marketing purpose to promote this particular gen test. It could be that she had her breasts done long ago. that she did not have surgery. That she has always had an unhealthy relationship to her body due to her disorders. That probably a lot of us are in danger of cancer. And a lot can be said about cancer treatment. A lot can be said about facing fears and monsters. What I really care about is and what makes me sick is the fact that she went public. Why? She is a role model to many women and what message does she deliver? I don’t understand how a decision like that can be hyped like that and called as “brave”. Who would buy into that? Cancer is there for a reason. It not just happens because of the genetic pre-conditioning. It happens because we have not been authentic and not been listening to something we need to learn. It would have been brave of her to show our culture and society that cancer is a chance to learn and grow. It can be an opportunity. What happens if all women have their breasts removed just to make sure to be on the safe side? And can we ever be safe? And if Angelina has to learn a message her body will find other ways to show her… I find it very sad that she did what she did and went public.


  17. Hi Shakaya, when I heard about Angelina’s decision I immediately felt sadness, shock and frustration. I empathize with Angelina yet how sad it feels that fear, pressure and delusion claimed her beautiful treasure chest. So many women either ran out to get theirs removed or strengthened the protection around theirs to keep em. There are still far too many doctors preaching out fear.That very week my sister in law who recovered really well from breast cancer, did her 5 year check in and he said if it were to return she’d have 3-6months. What an ass because do you know how much fear returned to her after hearing that ?? And she was doing so well. Bottom line don’t listen to fear surround yourself , not wuth denial but with awareness and healing miraculous loving support. Love you ladies.


  18. Emily says:

    I’m so grateful to your words Shakaya. “…many girls and women themselves develop a less-than loving relationship with their breasts and bodies…”

    I’ve been following you for a little bit, but shied away from your body-loving exercises and rituals. Something has opened in me now, and I am speaking to myself and my body with much more love. And desiring to care for my body with love. Something has shifted that I am able to do this now, and I am so happy about it.


  19. Grace Lawrence says:

    Dear and Lovely Shakaya
    Thank you for your writing which I find gorgeous in compassion expressed, questions considered, and visuals that are provocative ~ yes, this is such a vast, broad and crucial discussion for so many reasons. I find it always a challenge in my own life travels to find how judgement shows itself ~ while delving the layers, judgement can still lie almost invisibly to our ever more sensitive eyes, ears and hearts.
    Angelina has at the very least ~ and at the very most ~ brought forward this timely discussion and opportunity to evolve in how we perceive, understand and find our way to our Heart and Souls “right” path.
    As always, you are a appreciated as a shining light.
    Grace


  20. Kathy says:

    As a survivor of cancer, breast, esophageal, cervical, ovarian, colon I understand fear, I also knew no matter what we removed there would be more if I didn’t find the cause, prior I had endometriosis, PCOS, Fibro, arthritis and on and on, knew cancer was just another symptom, found I have celiac, changed diet, still deal with issues, I loved what you shared here Shakaya for Angelina’s sake I wished she would have sought a different path, I pray before she goes further to search out other options, I pray other women will not follow her lead without searching out every other possible solution, I am delighted to know I am good company with so many other brave woman out here and with your husband who also chose to dig deeper, I hope I am not standing in judgment of Angelina. Yet I wished she would have not made this decision. I hope she will not go any further. There are days and certain issues when fear dominates me and then there are days when I dominate fear. I remind myself often the Lord has not given me the spirit of fear but of love, and of power and a sound mind! Much love and healing to you and to all who so bravely spoken out about some many important things.


  21. Mary says:

    Lots of insight and wisdom is being shared here, But I find no mention of the very prevalent and traumatic child sexual abuse which often manifests as cancer for women in their “feminine” parts due to the repressed and unhealed pain. It is often not remembered due to the very nature of tremendous trauma that a child just cannot bear. For me it took many years and hypnosis to discover my own, though I had symptoms of it throughout my life. I would recommend that this be considered by all women who are having issues and wondering what is eating away at them, which is what cancer is.; as well, or course, many other symptoms which you can search for online and find out about. Because I know it so well, I see it alot in people who are suffering so but don’t know why. As has been said, there is always an emotional component to whatever is ailing you. Blessed Be.
    And, Shakaya, that artwork rocks!


  22. uma says:

    The painting of the woman and the lion speak loudly to me. Would you mind sharing the name of the artist? I would love a reprint.


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